From my journal when our baby was just under 2 months old…
When the freezing rain is falling, and the thunder claps loudly making way for a unique winter thunderstorm, I get to be the one.
When the snow is melting, making way for Spring and you hear birds for the first time out your bedroom window and sunbeams touch your face for the first time, I get to be the one.
When the summer’s heat has kissed your face for the first time and your thirst is magnified due to the heat, I get to be the one.
When the floorboards creek under the toddler’s foot as he races to bed 1 hour after you, I get to be the one.
When the daddy’s sneezes, and I try to sit down for the first time all day, I get to be the one.
When you’re lonely and you feel as though the world has left you behind, I get to be the one.
When your mouth hurts with these bones pushing through we call “teeth”, and your nose and mouth both become fountains in their own way, I get to be the one.
When your comfort object is far from reach and you can’t see in the dark as well as you think you should, I get to be the one.
When you’re hungry but have far too little teeth for pizza and too small of a stomach for ice cream, I get to be the one.
Many a night we cry at the same time- both of us for rest, comfort, each other, and the morning.
Many a night we lock eyes and share a smile, a moment that feels holy somehow, a moment that belongs to only us 2 in the dead of the night.
Many a night your rocking chair becomes my prayer room. God nursing my soul as I nurse you.
Oh little man, I don’t always treasure these nights. Sometimes I forget how soon I’ll forget them in a few years.
Sometimes I forget that you’re not in the way. You are the way.
And I don’t have to, but I get to.
I get to be the one.
I get to be the one you call mom.
