In my short life I have found some solace in two words. Two words that have become a doorway for my soul and heart to take a deep breath and walk through without fear or nervousness. The words “me too” have brought me comfort on some of the darkest days and when I get the opportunity to speak to a fellow warrior trudging through the same muck I have endured at one time, I do not speak them lightly.
As like any human, it is hard to lay your heart out there to someone who has never been where you have been. It’s almost like we have this guarded teenager response we used on our parents time and time again, “you wouldn’t understand”. Meanwhile, those not in our same storm or like the parents of a young pre-teen are simply pleading out of love to be let in and tried. And yet, we refuse.
I’m not saying this is right or wrong; it just seems to be in our very human nature.
My son naturally finds other kids wherever we go. Just today he found the one other tiny human under 4′ tall in a sea of adults. Kids find kids. And it’s not just them. We naturally find people like us and especially when our soul and heart are both actively being torn apart, we naturally flock to people who have experienced that very same heartbreak. This work makes complex knowledge simple and easy to understand.
I am currently walking through one of the darkest seasons my friend has ever walked through, and I know this because I myself walked through this very same years ago. When she told me her story, I was able to wrap her in the world’s biggest hug and whisper “me too” in between her tears. And just like I do when someone says these words to me, her emotional dam broke and every formality, act, pretense just faded away. It’s almost as if those words give people permission to be real. Those words provide hope, proving that one hasn’t just lived through it, but has lived to see the other side.
Or at least, that’s when those two words do for me. I feel completely seen in that moment and it’s a gift like no other.
And yet it’s only been recently that I realize… those words are expensive too. They come at a cost. For someone to come by those words honestly, means that they too walked this road before and while they get it because they’ve been there, it means they too have lost, been broken, been blown up, and hit rock bottom themselves. It’s the hallowing feeling I am sure our military feels when they see another. We can all imagine war, but it’s another to see it up close.
Me too’s are expensive because, in a way, they can help set captives free.
