You always believe it’s never going to happen to you.
Or at least, I never thought it would happen to me.
I thought it was something far off in a distant country, roaming and haunting the countrymen and women who didn’t put guards up. Who just let it into their unlocked homes and hearts in the name of laziness or pleasure. I thought it strangled and shamed those who just let life happen, not happen to life.
I never thought it would happen to me. To me and my family. In my house.
The tears burn down my cheeks as I face our new reality knowing this is where we will be tested at this intersection. This is where we will be sharpened. This is where we will grow stronger.
But it’s going to take work. More work and more attention and more grace than I have ever given before. More patience than I have ever received. More logs were taken out of my own eyes than I thought were there.
Every word has the potential to add to the fire. I must take every thought and every feeling captive before it leaks out and becomes truth.
Every action has an opposite and equal reaction. What I do, will be done to me. How I judge, is how I will be judged.
Am I growing encouragement or bitterness in the garden of my soul?
What am I feeding it?
Words of life and truth? Or am I looking around for my victim flag?
I refuse to be passive. I refuse to stand still.
I am choosing to trust.
Choosing to forgive.
Choosing joy. Choosing hope.
Choosing to fight for the good, hand in hand, arm in arm.
Choosing to fix my eyes on Him.
**This post has been in my drafts for a while now. I’m finally being brave enough to share it, with permission of course. I’m not ready to share anymore so please kindly don’t dwell here and make conclusions that aren’t true. Crap happens in life. Wars come. We choose whether we become victims or victors. I’m choosing victor.
