I read something recently that I’ve been thinking about lately. A woman walked in on her man (whether or not they were married, it didn’t say) watching porn. I’m not sure to what extent the porn was, but from previous experience with guys opening up to me and telling me (mind you these were boys who attend my church and are probably the most Godly known people of their grade) it was probably flat out naked women.
The question the post stated was what would you do? And then it later on described how “watching porn is okay” and how you “can’t change them” or if you “can’t beat them, join in the watching.” That blew my mind! The comments that followed were horrible. I’m sorry, but I would never stare at a naked woman. Not even with my man. I feel awkward enough when I’m watching TV and there’s a tampon or birth control commercial on and my dad or one of guy friends is sitting right by me or just in the room.
I’m still in question of what I would do. I know I would instantly become extremely insecure and feel like I’m not good enough. I already know I’m not every man’s dream. I know I have baby sizes of what guys are attracted to. And I’m perfectly okay with it, but seeing those girls with their perfect bodes…. well… I would feel so helpless and exposed.
For me, I show my passion through physical contact. And let me tell you it’s a blessing and a curse. At least for now. ;] I also kind of see how guys are struggling. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t understand it much but I can see how guys can get excited or at least notice girls when they decided to wear the tightest tank top they own or the shortest skirt. Because if I notice it, I know they have to.
All I know is it’s a slow fade. We all struggle with something.
I’m not going to judge “my boys” because they look at porn even though I think its sick and twisted. One of the boys is now a freshman in college and is studying to be a pastor. He’s working through it. But in no way do I excuse it. I just know I have my own struggles too. “And he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”
